🔨 How to BREAK FREE from the LIES your "but I have to" create to keep you 🔥BURNED OUT

Have you ever feared losing the appearance of "normal" to the outside world? This is how I lived for much of my life while navigating bipolar depression. I created a rigid framework that couldn't adapt to change.

I was stuck in treatments, actions, and tools that had to be "just so," or they wouldn't work for me. My mindset was fixed, and I couldn't see resources and opportunities even when they were right in front of me.

If you find yourself at a crossroads, thinking, 🤯"This sounds exactly like me," and you're looking to make a change, this edition is for you. Everyone is different, but in my experience, my inability to break free from my fixed mindset hindered my stability. I had to learn how to step out of the fixed and into something different.

TIME TO READ: 8 mins

WHAT’S INSIDE?

• Signature Story

• Quote

• Quick Start Actions

• Resources (A few of my favorite things)

I didn't know that I was operating from a fixed mindset in my mental health and life in general. Even when the observation was brought to my attention, I still couldn't let go.

Why? Because I didn't know what or who I would become if I did. I feared losing control, thinking it was the only control I had over my mental health and my life.

How I Made the Shift

Here are some of the first steps I took to move from living in a fixed mindset to living more flexibly.

Seeking Professional Guidance

I had no self-awareness, but I had professionals who did. When I made the decision to go into treatment, I worked with a DBT team, and although I know I didn't make it easy for them, I did listen.

Challenging My Resistance to Change

One of my greatest challenges to treatment was my belief that I could find a great treatment plan and still keep my life and my unhelpful actions and tools the same. I wanted only a solution that gave me X. Nothing more. But finding and working with a therapist or therapy team to help you not only see your blind spots but also understand how they are impacting change is what moved the needle for me. I wasn't self-aware, so I didn't see it in myself. That's why I'm a big advocate for having another lens.

Seeing a Different Vision for my Wellbeing

Honestly, I was in extensive outpatient treatment for the symptoms of my bipolar depression because I no longer wanted to experience them. On one hand, I wasn't happy with the way my life was moving, and on the other, I didn't see a vision of "different" that I was drawn to outside of myself either. I felt stuck with what I was experiencing in life and somehow justified some of the behaviors with unhealthy actions of other professionals who were more successful than I was.

Facing the Fear of the Unknown

I feared the unknown when it came to making sweeping life or behavior changes. Although I had awareness that I wanted different from my current surroundings, I didn't see a road or path to get me there. While in treatment and the years that followed, I had to learn to get comfortable with the fact that even if I didn't see a path or representation, I was going to continue to make changes. I had to become okay with doing despite feeling. My feelings drove so much of my action and so that was counterintuitive but necessary. One thing that helped me was that I focused on execution and small wins. My goal was just to do X coping skill or acknowledge Y no matter how I felt. Those stacked up over time and gave me more confidence to make greater changes.

Embracing New Experiences

My environment on the surface looked diverse and fulfilling, but in reality, my activities became a routine and those routines turned into obligations. I'm learning how much exposure to new experiences helps to shape and create growth. Thinking outside the box for experiences that can help stretch you to see things differently and to be exposed to those who can help you grow is one tool that I continue to use today. I'm not saying to join every 8-week activity you can (in the past I would have done that) instead, try out something with a low time commitment at a reasonable or no cost for the "experience."

Once you realize that the control you are gripping is also keeping you from the changes you seek for your well-being, and you couple that with some actions for change, moving into a growth mindset for your well-being and life can truly take shape.

1. Examine Limiting Beliefs Quick Start Action (5-10 minutes):

 Select one specific belief that you suspect might be limiting your growth and jot it down. Next to it, write a brief counterargument or a more empowering perspective. This quick exercise can help you begin challenging and reframing your beliefs.

2. Seek Guidance for Clarity Quick Start Action (5-10 minutes):

Reach out to a trusted friend or family member, or consider scheduling a brief consultation with a professional, such as a counselor, therapist, psychologist, or coach. Share with them one area in your life where you feel stuck or held back by fixed thinking. Ask for their initial thoughts or advice on how to break free from this mindset. Professionals can provide valuable insights and guidance tailored to your specific needs.

3. Embrace Change for Growth Quick Start Action (5-10 minutes):

 Identify one small change you can make in your daily routine. It could be something as simple as trying a new breakfast recipe or taking a different route to work. Implement this change today to kickstart your journey toward embracing growth.

4. Learn from Inspirational Stories Quick Start Action (5-10 minutes):

 Search online for a brief video or article about someone who overcame challenges through a growth mindset. Spend a few minutes watching or reading their story. Take note of any insights or strategies you can apply to your own life.