😩 Networking Drain? 🌈Discover How to Make Intentional Choices Instead of Compromises for Your Wellbeing

I wrote a LinkedIn post as a lesson to my younger self, which you can find here.

The premise was simple: for so many years of my life, I attended, volunteered, and connected at networking events and activities. However, I felt completely and utterly drained and often disconnected. Yet, I continued the cycle.

It took me time to realize that the "why" that brought me to the event or compelled me to sign up wasn't really what I told others. The "why" was often out of boredom, a desire for free food and drink, access, etc. I volunteered often to give back, but honestly, I wasn't truly authentic in it; I was mostly showing up and going through the motions. In either case, it left me anxious, empty, and drained.

This edition is dedicated to the shift I experienced when I became more intentional about how I showed up and what I showed up for.

If you are thinking about how you can make changes in this area of life, take a deep breath and keep reading.

The point of networking is to build connections and engage in social interactions.

But what if you reach a point where it becomes draining, and you start feeling resentful with each RSVP?

We often forget that many of the events and activities, even if well-meaning, are choices we actually make. These choices, when added to existing responsibilities, lead us further away from our goals and visions for these interactions, gradually eroding our well-being.

This was my experience 3-8 years ago with networking—and I excelled at it.

Not only did my well-being suffer, but one of my symptoms of bipolar depression took center stage: anxiety when going and hollowness while there.

Overcommitment and overextension used to be part of my story. However, over the past few years, I've made sweeping changes in this category through:

1. Learning the Season of No

2. Time Blocking for Space

3. Aligning with my Definition of "Quality"

The Season of NO

Alex Mozi introduced me to the concept of the season of no. It's a period where you say more no's than yes's. While the video focuses on boosting productivity, I found it relevant for overall well-being due to the underlying concepts.

The "no" allows you to say "yes" to what matters most. Each unaligned "yes" takes me further from my future self and my life's visions. For me, that was my mental well-being and creating more space for my passion projects.

Yes's deplete your energy, while no's make deposits into your goal and energy accounts. Many networking events, activities, and "opportunities" may be great, but focusing on a season of no helps you go inward and prioritize. It compels you to examine your true reasons for attending (is it for the open bar, boredom, free access) and gain clarity on your "why" so that you can move with intention. This season can be as short as 3 months, 1 month, or even 1 week. What matters is the intention and action behind it.

Time Blocking for Space

I block off calendar time for doing nothing—no meetings, no work, no networking... Nothing. My personal goal is to create more space, so I prioritize by action—creating the space.

Similar to paying yourself first, you allocate time for what's essential by blocking it off first. Then, you decide how to use the remaining time. This selectivity spills over to networking and activities, as now you have "less" time available. This empowers you to utilize your time in a way that serves you and your vision, creating pockets of energy to get closer to your goals. Start small, with 30 minutes once a week, and expand from there.

Alignment on Quality

I was RSVPing and signing up for everything, but I wasn't adding value in many of those spaces. When I aligned with my "why" for attending versus what I genuinely wanted during this season to enhance my well-being and life vision, I realized many events wouldn't support that.

I recognized my selfish motives: food, drink, access, meeting X—but the importance of meeting X was questionable. As much as I took, I unknowingly depleted my own reserves, fostering resentment for attending. Quality varies for each person, but let me provide an example.

A few years ago, I aimed to learn about Web3 and build connections within that community. I reevaluated my commitments, explored the space, engaged with different communities, and narrowed in on those that resonated. Now, I'm transitioning from some communities while maintaining others to reset and explore what's next. We often linger in activities and events designed for exploration, learning, and evolution.

So, before you do anything else, take the time to determine what holds high value in your life, supports your mental, physical, and emotional well-being, and then prioritize yourself by carving out time to replenish. Embrace a season of "No" for everything else. What I am learning is that it will be there when you return or if it is not, your path will open doors to connections and opportunities far greater and more fulfilling.