🧩How to REBUILD and REINVENT your life when you DON’T know WHERE to begin

TIME TO READ: 6 mins

WHAT’S INSIDE?

• Signature Story

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I was so far from the vision I had for my life, so I let other’s dreams become my nightmare.

On the outside, I lived a life of accomplishments and checking things off a never-ending list. 

Behind closed doors, my actions in part triggered cycles of panic attacks, depression, and anxiety. Add a constant need for recognition and low self-worth and self-esteem. 

Finding a path out of it meant that I had to figure out a new vision or version for my life.  

But I struggled to create a new one.

I just knew that I didn’t want the one I was living. 

So in my late teens, 20s and 30s:

I read hundreds of books on finding your purpose, vision, manifestation

I watched over 500 hours of youtube videos

I listened to over 100 hours of podcasts

I downloaded or took quizzes that would magically help give me the clarity I needed

I spent thousands of dollars working with everyone from business coaches to psychics.

I compensated by looking outward to reinvent my life. I would compare my vision to what others around me who were “making it” did and then follow them. 

I was continuously frustrated grasping from one thing to the next in a frantic effort to figure it out.

The results were at best short short-sighted, without true intention and disconnected. At worst the blows to my self-worth and self esteem hid me further and further from the truth of MY best self.

I was running a race that will make you a winner in a game of life you don’t want to play.

I kept running into the same problem.

 After watching videos, podcasts, and reading books…they all started out the same.

Question: How to find your purpose in life?  Advice: Start with what you are deeply passionate about.

Question: How do you reinvent yourself? Advice: Get clear on what you want or who you want to become.

I had NO clarity on either of these. Without clarity, everything that came after it was dust in the wind. It had only surface-level value and I adopted everyone’s vision except my own.

I discovered that the SOLUTION requires a different approach. 

If you can’t see the “who, what, where, why”?

If you don’t have a life that brings you passion so you have to list to draw from?

Then you need 

1. To tap into how you want to feel.

2. A different set of experiences.

Both create and shape your relationship with yourself and your reality.  

The goal isn’t to check off the box of some framework or step.

It isn’t to follow some trending morning or evening routine.

It isn’t to follow who and what you see in your life now. 

Your goal is to interrupt a pattern of auto living.

Pattern interruption peels back the layers to reveal the best version of you.

Over the last 3 years (2 years with increasing focus) learning how to harness both has accelerated anything that I could have imagined for my life.

It added value to all pillars of my life from my mental and physical health, relationships, career, financial and spiritual.

And the more that I sink in and tap into feelings and experiences I can make sharper assessments and pivots much faster. 

The very direction of this newsletter stems from a conscious pattern interruption. 

So let me give you the big picture framework I use. First, 

1. GET CLEAR ON HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL

In the absence of a vision, one of the most powerful tools you can tap into is asking yourself “how do you want to feel?” or “what would be your nightmare feeling” and then put those answers in reverse to get to the feeling.

Step:

1. Write out anything that you can think of in your life right now that would get that feeling.

Put a star next to the items that you believe would be in highest service to your goal, vision, future self. This keeps you from getting stuck in the trap of cheap dopamine hits.

What is dopamine? Dopamine is a neurotransmitter made in your brain. It plays a role as a “reward center” and in many body functions, including memory, movement, motivation, mood, attention and more (source https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22581-dopamine ). It doesn't actually make you feel good or happy, it simply makes you want to do the thing again. (source: https://mhanational.org/what-dopamine). 

We want to star things that make us feel good that are in service to us. If social media makes you envious, jealous, angry, bitter yet entertained, and that’s not HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL IN THE FUTURE don’t put a star next to it (unless you can make modifications that would get you there).

**  If your list is coming up short (this is where I hit a wall) then these next steps are important.

Next,

2. EXPERIMENT AND EXPLORE NEW EXPERIENCES AND ENVIRONMENTS AT AN ACCELERATED PACE 

Go find experiences that will help you gain clarity or align with it, at an accelerated pace. 

This will require experimentation and exploration.

This is not about taking on a hobby for the next 2 years, it is about 2 months, 2 hours, 2 weeks, 2 days at a time.                                          

Pick 1-3 things to learn or something that you are willing to try. This could be a skill, course, hobby, place etc. Why, because new experiences= new perspectives. This opens and expands your understanding of what’s possible for you.

I pick a short term project to complete that requires me to gain different experiences and put myself in new environments to complete it.                                

Immerse yourself in learning it (this could be a 2 hour workshop online, a free or paid 4 week class, an 8 hour bootcamp, a full day experience…it’s up to you)                                    

 Your mission is to create new experiences and immerse yourself in different environments to interrupt the current life autopilot pattern running.

Finally,

3. ASSESS HOW YOU FEEL WHILE DOING THEM. 

Do those experiences align with how you want to feel? If not, find others. If yes, continue them if you can and then move to others for more depth.

Doing this alone can reinvent your life and experiences. Use this as a bridge to move forward with mapping out your life reinvention, goal, or manifestation. Don't get caught up in the title of what you are doing, what is important, what matters is CHANGE.

CONCLUSION

So to recap, if you struggle to find a vision to reinvent a part of or your whole life:

• Get clear on how you want to feel (without the thoughts, beliefs, restraints you or others put on you).

• Experiment and Explore new experiences and environments at an accelerated pace (2 hours, 2 days vs. 2 years)

• Assess how you feel while doing them. 

• Use these to add clarity on how you want to feel.

• Use that feeling to guide your life reinvention (goal, manifestation, mindset etc.)

• Rinse and repeat this throughout your life.

If you don’t tap into how you want to feel, and then seek experiences that create it, you will go through life as an empty vessel mindlessly chasing an identity and vision that others create for you.

If you are reading this, then you no longer want that for your life.

So next step, take a deep breath and

BEGIN.

• Create an Anti-Vision (7 minutes):

  • Take 7 minutes to list out a vision for your life that would be your worst nightmare come to life. Be honest and don't hold back. Understanding what you don't want can pave the way for creating what you do want.

• Develop a Gratitude Practice (5 minutes):

  • Dedicate 5 minutes every day to speak or write down 1-3 things you are grateful for. Even in dark times or periods of transition, broaden your perspective to find gratitude, even in the mundane.

• Inventory Joy (8 minutes):

  • Spend 8 minutes brainstorming any aspect of your life that brings you joy or, on the flip side, doesn't suck. Identify things already present in your life that can serve as a foundation that you will bring into your transformation.

• Explore Your Curiosities (10 minutes):

  • Brainstorm a list of things you can learn or do in 30 days or less. These should be activities that pique your curiosity, even if you know nothing about them. In the absence of joy, curiosity becomes a valuable guide.

• Script Your New Life (10 minutes):

  • Take 10 minutes to write out your new life as if you have already become that person. Recall significant events or choose a specific goal or vision you've experienced. Be specific. Tap into those feelings and describe them in detail. This will help prime your unconscious mind, giving it direction. It will also help you determine what actions, identity, and beliefs to establish in the now to move in alignment with this shift.