📚🧠How I Turned My Obsession with Self-Development to Intentional Action🚀

Confession time: I've had an obsession with self-development, constantly seeking the “thing” that would change everything. Books,webinars, podcasts, articles—I consumed, I was inspired and then I moved on to the next. My reality began to change when I moved from pure consumption- to consumption, restraint and intentional action. It's about simplicity and focus. Learning to embrace discomfort. Asking ourselves the hard questions: why are we pursuing self-development? Because in those moments of truth that's where growth thrives. This Edition is about stripping away the noise, starting small, and building habits that make the pursuit of self-development worth it.

TIME TO READ: 7 mins

My core value is all about self-development, constantly striving to become the absolute best version of myself. It's all about evolving and growing. So I am guilty of what you would call an over consumer of self development. I devour books, summaries, podcasts, articles, lectures, Instagram posts, YouTube playlists, webinars—you name it. Oh, and let's not forget those book clubs where we really dig deep into the material. Finally, the 10 pages of notes taken from each resource since every outlet was life changing and those nuggets of information would take me …to finally find my purpose in life and be fulfilled. I lived so many of my years with an emptiness in myself that I wanted to fill.

It wasn't until a few years later that I realized just how many books and resources I consumed in this relentless pursuit of purpose and evolution. I knew what I was after, and as a seeker, I was laser-focused on finding it, going through everything until I got my hands on it. Because in my reality, I believed that the answer was outside of me. I could not figure it out. Someone else had that “tool” that “secret” that would unlock the door to my understanding. So, did they have it? Well, it's a bit more complicated than a simple yes or no.

As I’m writing this, I’m looking on my bookshelf at some of the self development books that helped me to create possibilities that changed the course of my life, my relationship with my self worth, how I viewed work and therapeutic skills that I still use today.

The key word is use. Now, here's the key: I had to figure out which takeaways I could actually put into action. I couldn't do them all at once (believe me, I tried stacking them, and it was a disaster and the confidence in myself was chipped away). So, I had to focus on the takeaways that would either 1) deeply resonate with me and create a meaningful impact or 2) be something I could realistically implement and get some quick wins. Sometimes it was a bit of both. This restraint helped me to separate inspiration from implementation.

Because in the end, the success of the materials fell into actions that I needed to start, and actions that I needed to stop. However, the simplicity of that statement concealed another crucial element—one that I had to delve into and gradually move beyond: accepting discomfort. Taking action or not taking action, both led to moments of discomfort, sometimes lasting seasons or even years. I learned that change, in any direction, often comes with a certain level of discomfort. I didn’t have to like it (or enjoy it), but once I got clear on what the action allowed me to do, I removed how I felt from the action, and did it anyway.

The actions become habits and those habits resulted in self-development. So I will never tell anyone that the pursuit of self development is bad, But let me ask you this: Why are you pursuing self-development? Are you looking for a burst of inspiration to get you through a tough time? Are you looking to expand your knowledge and view of life through the experiences of others? Maybe you just want that adrenaline rush when you immerse yourself in an awe-inspiring story. Or perhaps you're a seeker, looking for that one gem that can solve a specific problem you're facing. Or, maybe you're craving a complete life transformation. There's no wrong answer, and your motivations will change over time. But understanding your "why" is crucial.

If you truly desire change, then seek simplicity. Start with less, seek clarity in direction and cultivate habits that require you to start or stop certain behaviors. Build upon them, layer by layer, rinse, and repeat until you reach what you seek.

I’m all about intentional quick actions (even if they aren’t perfect). Quick start actions help to build your muscle for planting seeds and building habits and tools that serve you.

Take a Weekend Detox: Give yourself a break from consuming self-development materials (that includes twitter, Instagram, TikTok too!), even if it's just for a weekend. If that seems challenging, start with a single day. Read this article to learn more about the benefits and how to approach it effectively.

Create a Supportive Environment: Identify one new habit or concept that aligns with your self-development goals. Take 10 minutes to brainstorm and implement a small change in your environment that will help reinforce this new habit or concept. It could be as simple as rearranging your nightstand, or bathroom or setting up reminders.

Read a TLDR Summary: Save time and still gain valuable insights by reading a TLDR (Too Long, Didn't Read) summary of a self-development book, article, or podcast episode. Find a reliable source that provides concise summaries and spend 10 minutes going through one. It's a quick way to stay informed and discover new ideas.

Choose a Source Focus for 30 Days: Select one book, method, concept or idea that resonates with you and commit to exploring its concepts deeply over the next 30 days. Dedicate 10 minutes each day to reading and reflecting on the content. Afterward, choose only 1-3 key concepts from each session and write down the habits and skills you need to act upon to incorporate them into your life.

A curated collection of some of my favorites tools, people, videos, articles and resources to help you kick start your own toolbox. It’s all about finding what works for you.

Since this edition is about over consumption of self development, highlighting tons of tools and resources would go against the goal of intentional consumption, but I do believe that in the spirit of giving you tools help you create and think more about what intentional consumption looks like for you, below are some resources that I have used in points along my journey.

Videos

Linda Hall- Is one of my favorite Youtube channels for guided meditation. Overconsumption for me is about filling the mind to the point where it can’t separate and do something with the information. It’s just taking the action of input and store. This guided meditation with the thumb nail “Sit back from Everything” is one of my favorites to help me to reset. 

Books

Essentialism by Greg McKeown- This book really was a foundation for looking at my life differently and ways that my overconsumption led to unfulfillment. This is a book that I often recommend for those looking to create a life with a focus on less but that less is made up of things that are really powerful for your individual growth and happiness. Some of my favorite parts of the book are applying “Zero Based Budgeting” where all previous life commitments are gone and every item in your life must be justified from scratch. Editing (in life)- where you use deliberate subtraction to actually add, and to your level of contribution. For a TLDR extensive overview, check out the Sam Davies book summary.

Atomic Habits by James Clear- So I’ve never actually read the book but I read an entire summary of the book when I wanted to create systems that would help me to implement things that I wanted to focus on for self development. Atomic Habits helps you to look at habits more like building blocks where you can get some quick small wins, you'll start to develop some confidence, motivation, and momentum. Then, if you have a system in place to keep you going, then that system and process will take you where you want to go. Rather than optimizing your life for the finish line, James Clear recommends and teaches you how to optimize your life for the BEGINNING of your journey. For a TLDR extensive overview, check out the Sam Davies book summary.

Articles

Sometimes you just read something that sticks with you. Below are some articles with great tools and strategies, many of which I have used and some of them I still use today.

What Is Self-Improvement? by Mark Manson- Mark touched me and had me laughing at the same time in this article where he breaks down different approaches to self improvement in an in your face kind of way with a few curse words pickled in, but it paints an interesting view of overconsumption.

Why You Need a Break From Self-Improvement Content — A Detox Challenge!- I came across this article for a great way to try a detox from self development tools. You can try it for 1 week or even 30 days. It provides a great background on the why overconsumption doesn’t serve you and what you may learn from this self imposed “break”